


Baby, You Only Need to Ask

by alistaircousland



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Friends With Benefits to Lovers, James/Sirius brotherhood though, M/M, Minor Jily, Mutual Pining, but both are idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistaircousland/pseuds/alistaircousland
Summary: Sirius knew he was the one who asked no-commitments, but just like what people say, karma is a bitch. He fell for Remus.(Although, unbeknownst to him, Remus was also head over heels for Sirius already.)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 86





	Baby, You Only Need to Ask

**Author's Note:**

> Songs that inspired this:  
> 1\. [Crash My Car - COIN](https://open.spotify.com/track/0X5mtNbqxbiTYkwj0CQc2f?si=WTvQe0erTzKUfaDW9hRYew)  
> 2\. [A Kiss - THE DRIVER ERA](https://open.spotify.com/track/69IosokH54HzpJZoFIIy74?si=FNllQFmCSR6sW1AezxUPag)  
> 3\. [Let's Fall in Love for the Night - Finneas](https://open.spotify.com/track/3n5te2xbUAPjzAnhLgA42z?si=rEkmdM6CSvWo10Nu9VnaUA)

A scratch there, a thrust here, a whimpering moan and a shudder soon followed.

Sirius brushed Remus’ hair, slick with sweat and flat against his forehead, so he could give a kiss to his temple as he continued to thrust, to feel, _to remember_ , as the other man gripped his shoulders so hard that Sirius half-hoped it would leave marks.

But one hand wandered too low, and Sirius halted his movement, groaning in pain.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, Siri, are you okay?” Remus removed his hands completely from Sirius’ back, pressing them instead on the bed, ready to move away if Sirius asked him to.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. Come on,” Sirius pulled out and sat on the other side of the bed, patting his lap, “come on, ride me, it won’t hurt—” Remus was already climbing over him, putting his legs next to Sirius’ hips, impaling himself on Sirius as he moaned and threw his head back in ecstasy. His hands wandered again to Sirius’s shoulders, up to his neck, and finally reaching its destination in his hair, tugging as he fucked himself on Sirius, over and over, as Sirius put his hands on Remus’ hips, so hard, so _tight_ , he _absolutely_ hoped to leave bruises.

It was over too soon. Sirius was content to have himself still connected with Remus, as the other man laid on his chest, nimble hands playing around his arms.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, earlier.” Remus said, his voice raspy. Sirius smiled as he brushed Remus’ hair over and over, his other hand caressing the small on his back. “It’s fine, I know you didn’t mean to.”

“But I always forgot about your scars, I knew it hurts you, but I just—I’m sorry, please.” Remus sighed, pulling himself up, losing Sirius in the process. Sirius grunted at the sudden chill from the air, having been warm inside Remus for so long, but the other man didn’t notice and merely plopped himself next to him.

“It’s okay. If you say sorry one more time, I’ll have to tie you up, then.” Sirius joked, softly kicking Remus’ shin with his foot, but he saw Remus’ hazel eyes turn to black, and, well. “I swear, you will be the death of me one day.”

Remus _giggled_ as Sirius moved on top of him, pressing his wrists above his head with one hand as the other positioned his legs around Sirius’ hips, kissing his neck in the process. And if he left marks, well, that’s Remus’ problem in the morning. All Sirius wanted is to remind the other man that tonight, here, right now, Remus was his. And Sirius was Remus’, too, if he didn’t know.

\---

“So, what makes you look like a kicked puppy?” James pulled up next to him, pressing a cold bottle of beer to Sirius’ hand, just like the one in his own hand. He propped himself up on the counter island, gaining a good foot above Sirius’ head—which is pretty impressive, considering Sirius was 5’10” and James had stopped growing after he hit 5’8” when he was 17—as he scoured the housewarming party in his and Lily’s flat. When he saw what Sirius was looking at, he only let a soft “ah.”

“I mean, I know,” Sirius shrugged, playing with the bottle in his hand instead of drinking it, “I know I told him that I wasn’t ready for commitment. And he _understood_. And I know it was _me_ who asked it and not him, but, it _hurts_ to see him.” He finally took a long swig of his beer, as Remus, the person in question, wrapped his hand on a woman’s arm, his sight looking down to somewhere around her chest, as they both laughed at what she said. “I know I don’t have the right to feel this way but I _do_ and this isn’t fair James.”

James sighed. He knew about the arrangement between his brother and his best friend since the day it happened, when both men staggered out of Sirius’ room in their parents’ house with Sirius wearing Remus’ (adorably too big) shirt, and Remus sporting a very big hickey on his collarbone, just slightly covered by his jumper. _He_ was the one who cornered Remus and promised him a good black eye if he was playing with Sirius’ heart, because Sirius did not need any more heartache after what he’d experienced from his biological family, but Remus had explained that it was Sirius who wanted a no-commitment term between them. He saw his brother dragging random men to pubs’ bathrooms’ in the beginning of this mess, seeing how Remus had taken deep breath before removing himself to the dance floor as Sirius was gone behind the doors.

Now, though, six months ever since their mother reminded Sirius he was wearing a shirt one size too big for him, the said brother is moping around next to him as they saw Remus give back the strange woman’s phone (to James she wasn’t a stranger—she was someone in Lily’s anatomy class or something, but in a way to support his brother, she _is_ a stranger for tonight) and kissed her cheek goodnight, before finally removing himself from her company and took off to their direction.

“Where’s Peter?” Remus asked as he took a bottle of water from the refrigerator, absolutely missing the complicated look Sirius was giving him.

  
“Not sure. I think I saw him enter his room with someone.” James shrugged. The flat _was_ his and Lily’s, their first place on their own, but his parents thought that since he was inseparable from his “Marauders boys” all of them should have their own bedrooms, so he had a four-bedroom flat in the middle of London, although if he and Lily decided to have a child, one of his friends had to give up their room. James had a feeling Remus’ room would be sacrificed, considering whenever he stayed the night in his parents’ house, he was already occupying the other side of Sirius’ bed.

He didn’t know about now, though. Sirius was still looking like a kicked puppy and Remus was standing next to him nonchalantly, sipping his water.

“I’m going to bed.” Sirius finally announced after a few minutes of terse silence between them.

“Hey, it’s still 9.” James tried, but Sirius waved him off, putting his half-drunk bottle on the island next to James.

“I’m tired.” Sirius called as he went to his room, a loud _bang_ when he closed his door rang through the party and had made the music stop for a second before it resumed.

“I should—” James stopped Remus from moving.

“No. I think Sirius wants to be alone.” He said, glaring at Remus from behind his glasses.

“But he doesn’t like to be alone.” The other man removed James’ hand from his chest, ready to stride to Sirius’ room, but James jumped off the island and grabbed Remus’ wrist. From where he was standing, Remus was almost towering over him, having grown a few inches above him even after they left high school, and could absolutely clock him with one swing being the more sober one, but James only squeezed Remus’ wrist harder.

“Not tonight. Sirius _needs_ to be alone.” James knew it felt weird saying that, he was giving a white lie, he _knew_ Sirius would be thrashing in his bed if he was left alone, succumbing to his nightmare, but if Remus went in, Sirius would let his emotions cloud his better judgment and forget how sad Remus had made him just a few moments ago. James hoped he was making the right choice for Sirius.

“Okay, fine, I won’t go to his room.” Remus pulled his hand away from James’ grip. “I’m going back to my place. Tell Sirius to call me tomorrow.”

“Okay.” James held his hands up in surrender as his friend took his jacket and left the flat, the rest of the party oblivious to what had happened. He sighed, pushing his glasses up and rubbed his eyes, before replacing his glasses back to find his girlfriend. When he found the tell-tale red head, he smiled and wrapped her in his arms, dancing to the music.

He tried to forget the image of Sirius, alone in his bed, probably crying himself to sleep.

\---

It was a few weeks after the party when James went home from work to find Sirius eating his weight in cheesy pizza and _The Devil Wears Prada_ playing on the tv. James waved hi only to be responded by a slight nod and a pat to the empty space next to Sirius. He sighed. He took the few steps from the foyer to the living room and sat where Sirius told him to, wrapping an arm around Sirius’ shoulders. The other man simply scooted to put his head on his chest. “Is this okay?”

James smiled down at Sirius, even though he knew his brother couldn’t see it. “No need to ask.” He squeezed Sirius’ arm as he grabbed a slice of pizza, watching Anne Hathaway have her momentous makeover.

When Lily arrived home a few hours later, Sirius was asleep in James’ lap, James having changed the tv to _Breaking Bad_ , and she mouthed, ‘Is he okay?’ in which James only could shake his head.

She sighed, giving Sirius’ forehead a kiss and then James too on his lips, before going to their room to change.

James spent the night on the sofa, with Sirius on his lap, whimpering in his nightmares.

\---

Sirius rarely let Remus top. It wasn’t a preference thing—Sirius loved to give and receive. He loved every aspect of sex especially if it was Remus, but it was more of… saving his heart, for lack of better words. Whenever Remus was fucking him, he felt vulnerable, he felt safe, he felt _loved_ , and all of those feelings felt so _strange_ and _weird_ and _misplaced_ in his heart, and he couldn’t take it. He never mentioned this to Remus, only telling what he wanted to do to the other man by action, and he was glad he didn’t have any complaints about how they usually do their business.

Tonight was different, however. Sirius had readied himself for this night. This is the night where he will let himself feel vulnerable, safe, _loved_ , within Remus’ hold, feeling Remus deep inside him, embracing him, and he will let himself _think_ Remus loved him back, before finally ending whatever this is that they had.

James was right—just because Sirius is friends with being hurt, does not mean he had to do it to himself.

So he let Remus enter him, slowly, engulfing him in his heat, hazel eyes meeting grey, as Sirius tried so hard to keep the tears in his eyes in, scratching Remus’ back because he knew how much the other man liked it, begging for more and more and _more_ because that was what Remus always did, and putting Remus’ hand on his neck to press and to _control_ and to _imprint this night_.

He came with a strained moan, the hand around his neck slacking as the other man finished deep inside him, and he could _feel_ his inability to sit tomorrow already, but it was so, _so_ worth it, to have this last memory of Remus, of the man he loved, before he let himself move on.

“Remus.” He called after Remus finished cleaning them off, laying next to him with their fingers interlaced between them, albeit not cuddling as the damp summer heat was too bad to ignore.

“Yeah, Siri?” Remus called back, his warm hazel eyes piercing through his own wet, grey eyes, and then he realized his lover was crying. “Why are you crying? Did I hurt you again? I’m so sorry.” He tried to wipe the tears with his thumb, but Sirius swatted his hand away.

“Don’t, please.” Sirius sniffled. “I can’t.” He took a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?” Remus propped himself on his elbow, on his side, to face Sirius completely. Sirius looked away, focusing on the dancing curtains instead of the face of the man he was too deep in love with, because if he did, he’d lost his guts.

“I can’t do this anymore. Us. It’s… I can’t.” Sirius wiped his face with the back of his hand, the one that had been holding Remus’. “I… I like you so, so much, and… this is unfair, I know. I asked no commitments and you delivered, but… but I was bitten by my own words, and I understand that you didn’t sign up for feelings. So. For my sake and yours… we need to end this. We will still be friends. The Marauders won’t break. But… but I need to move on from you.”

Remus was silent, his face flat, as he watched Sirius break down in front of him. Sirius curled within himself, wrapping his arms around his knees. “It-It’s okay if you want to leave.”

Sirius had closed his eyes, willing himself to hear the rustle of clothes being put on and his door opening then closing. For _eternity_ , he didn’t hear anything, only his own deep breath, as he willed himself to not let his tears drown him, but he couldn’t hold it—

A pair of arms took him in, putting his head on the person’s chest, and for a second he thought it was James or Lily after they heard Remus leave, but when he straightened his legs, he was met with another pair of feet and that didn’t make sense as James was shorter than him, and Lily was too, so it only left one person possible, but that wasn’t _possible_ , he was supposed to _leave_ , he was supposed to _not be here_ , and Sirius broke down.

“Sshhh. I’ve got you.” Remus brushed Sirius’ hair, while his other hand rubbed circles on his shoulder. “Sshhh. Let it all out. Let it all out, Siri, it’s okay.”

So Sirius did, crying so hard he already felt the headache budding on the back of his head, wrapping his hands around Remus so tight he probably would leave bruises tomorrow, but he couldn’t think about that, he just thought about how the tears wouldn’t stop, it wouldn’t stop, they kept coming…

\---

Sirius woke up with a very hard beating on the back of his head, dry eyes, and a warm chest under him. He pushed himself up, blinking his eyes a few times, making sure his sight wasn’t an illusion.

There was Remus, sleeping with his arms around Sirius, snoring softly.

Sirius sat up as he pinched his nose. He knew he’d fail. He promised himself last night would be the last, but he _failed_ , of course, fucking feelings.

“Siri?” called Remus groggily from below him, as the man rubbed his eyes and rose slowly to meet Sirius that was already sitting up.

  
“Do you feel better?” Remus asked, taking his hand that was pinching his nose and kissed it instead, continuing up to his wrist and arm, then shoulder, then neck, before finally claiming his lips in a closed kiss. “You cried yourself to sleep last night.”

“So… it happened then.” Sirius said in a whisper. “I remember telling you to leave.”

Remus nodded. “But I didn’t.”

“Why not?” Sirius asked, eyes already watering again.

“Because I want to stay.” Remus kissed him again, chastely, wrapping his hands on Sirius’ cheeks. “I want to stay with you.”

“But… but. But we agreed this was nothing but sex.” Sirius pushed Remus away, a hand on his chest.

“And yet, I still fall for you. I have been falling for you for a long time. I’d let you have me in any way you want.” Remus put a hand on top Sirius’, the one on his own chest, and squeezed slightly. “I like you too, Siri.”

“B-But you also flirt around, it wasn’t like you saved yourself for me or—”

“I did, yeah. But so did you.” Remus, with the hand that was still on Sirius’ face, wiped a rebel tear away from his face. “They don’t mean anything. But you do. So if you let me show you how much you mean to me…”

Sirius was crying by then. “Are-are you serious?”

Remus smiled as he closed the distance between them, his lips ghosting over Sirius’. “No, I’m Remus, but I am, completely, absolutely, head over heels for Sirius.”

Sirius laughed as he wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck to pull him in a kiss. “I never thought you’d return my feelings.”

“Well, you sometimes don’t think clearly when you’re with me.” Remus joked, nipping Sirius’ bottom lip.

“That’s true. Make love to me?” Sirius pulled Remus down on top of him. Remus smiled still, as his hand travelled down.

“Baby, you only need to ask.”


End file.
